


Shift

by Aelimir



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:52:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelimir/pseuds/Aelimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A desperately lonely, despairing shapeshifter comes aboard, seeking to return home. He sedates Jim and keeps him in his closet, taking his form to carry out his plans. In the meantime, he keeps Spock's suspicions at bay by seducing him. The Shifter knows what Spock truly desires, what Jim is oblivious to, and gives it to him. What will become of Jim and Spock's relationship in the aftermath?</p>
<p>The rape warning is because Spock thinks the shapeshifter is Jim. So it wasn't consensual in that way. The shapeshifter did not force him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shift

“You seem ill at ease tonight, Captain. Is there something I can do for you?”

Jim glanced up from the chess board with a wry smile. “It’s just a silly, illogical, human feeling, Spock. Nothing to worry about.”

“I am not averse to hearing your thoughts.”

Jim gazed thoughtfully into the eyes of his closest friend. “Well,” he said with a small laugh. “Do you ever get that feeling that you’re being watched?”

“I am often the center of attention in many of my social interactions –“

“No, I mean. Even when no one is around. Like there’s another unseen presence lurking in the shadows.”

“I do not.”

“That’s what I thought.” Jim smiled. “I’ve gotten that feeling a lot lately. I don’t know why.”

“Perhaps you need shore leave.”

“You’re not pulling that trick on my again, mister,” Jim countered playfully. Spock had trapped him into going last time through some clever logic. He wasn’t going to fall for the same trick again.

“Then perhaps a visit to Sickbay is in order. Paranoia is a condition that is more easily curable in the early stages.”

“I’ll be all right,” Jim assured him. “Your move.”

Though it wasn’t long before they finished the game, they still spent quite a bit of time talking. Jim had noticed that Spock had lately increased their time together. It was nice. Finally, Spock was allowing him to get to know him better.

Eventually, they bid each other goodnight. Jim smiled at the door after it shut behind Spock. He hadn’t expected his friendship with the repressed man to blossom as it had; they were opposites in many ways. Yet, he’d ended up connecting with him more than any being. Too bad he wasn’t a woman.

The thought had barely coalesced when something huge fell on him from above. Jim couldn’t move, couldn’t even scream, as it completely enveloped him. The jelloey, yet powerful blob picked him up and carried him to his closet. Once there, it tied him and gagged him securely. It did not, however, blindfold him or cover his ears.

The murky blob finally formed a shape: a perfect likeness of himself. “I call myself Shifter. I do not wish to kill you,” he said. “I just want to go home. I need your ship to find it. I have been observing you for the past month, and concluded you would not cooperate willingly. If your Vulcan is as brilliant as he seems, it should not take long. In the meantime, enjoy your shore leave.” With that, he stuck an IV into each of Jim’s arms. One of them must have been sedation drugs, because Jim passed out soon after.

Shifter stood up and climbed into the bed. “Lights,” he said. The computer obeyed. He’d fooled the ship; now he just had to fool Mr. Spock. As intelligent as the Vulcan was, he was confident in his success. He had a plan.

After spending his needed time as a puddle in Jim’s bed, Shifter got up and checked Jim’s IVs. One was for drugs, the other was nutrients. He’d also have to steal more from Sickbay for the human’s bathroom needs. Not only would it be laughably easy, it would keep the meddlesome doctor chasing his tail, too busy to notice anything strange about Shifter.

He quickly finished the deed, shifting as needed to avoid suspicion. When he entered the Bridge, he greeted Spock with a sunny smile. The Vulcan’s eyes softened as he acknowledged him. Shifter held back a snort of derision. Jim was so _blind_. It was so obvious what he felt about him; as a shapeshifter, he was especially sensitive to body language. Keeping the Vulcan distracted would be even easier than the doctor.

Shifter strode up to Spock and put his arm around him, and spoke softly, intimately. “We’ve received new orders. I’ve forwarded them to your station. I’d like you to come up with possibilities and meet me in the ready room in a few hours. Let me know when you’re ready.”

He heard Spock swallow. Clearly, he was affecting him. “Yes, Captain.”

“Call me Jim,” Shifter invited warmly.

Spock’s eyes softened further. “Yes, Jim.”

Shifter retreated, satisfied. That would emotionally compromise him enough that he wouldn’t think as clearly as he usually did. He would be less likely to find anything suspicious in the “orders.”

“McCoy to the Bridge. Jim, there’s been a few incidents I would like to talk to you about.”

“I’ll be down there right away.”  Shifter entered the lift. “Sickbay.” He already knew what it was about.

Sure enough…”Jim, I’ve checked, double checked, and triple checked. We’re missing two IVs, sedation drugs, nutrients, and defecating and urine bags. Basically, everything needed to keep a person alive yet subdued.”

“When did they come up missing?”

“Well, we do daily inventory, so it had to have been last night or this morning.”

“And there’s nothing on the security cameras?”

“Nothing! It’s like they disappeared into thin air!”

“I’ll have security search the ship,” Shifter assured him. “Question everyone. We’ll find them, Bones.”

“I’m more worried about the person they’re targeting. Make sure no one is missing.”

“Of course,” Shifter agreed. That wouldn’t be a problem. He’d just have to make sure they didn’t search his own room.

Once he was done talking to Security, Spock was ready to discuss his findings. Shifter invited him into the ready room. He kept things professional this time; Spock would question behavior that was too abruptly different.

“I have examined and compared all planets in that region of space,” Spock informed him. “None quite match. Perhaps the Klingons were talking in code about their new base.”

“No, Starfleet cracked the code,” Shifter insisted. “We’ll have to head in that direction and see what we can find on our scanners. Maybe the records were falsified.”

“That is a possibility,” Spock granted. “However, it is somewhat reflective of paranoia. Perhaps you should reconsider my earlier suggestion.”

“No, I’m just being thorough, Spock. We can’t let the Klingons get any advantages. They have too many already.”

“Very well. Once we are in scanning range of that cluster, I will inform you of any additional findings.”

“I know I can count on you, Spock,” Shifter said with another warm smile.

As he expected, this helped disarm Spock of his suspicion. “Of course.”

“Dismissed.” They walked out, side by side. “Sulu, plot a new course for the coordinates on your screen.”

“Aye, sir,” agreed Sulu.

“Once you’ve finished, take us into warp, factor six,” Shifter ordered.

“Aye, Captain.”

Shifter sprawled out in his chair. Things were going according to plan. Soon, soon, he would _finally_ be home. He carried out the rest of his duties for the day, doing his best to mimic Jim’s usual behavior. No one seemed suspicious, though Spock gave him a few intense, indiscernible looks. It made him a little uneasy. To be on the safe side, he would need to step things up between them. “Spock. Chess again tonight?” he asked. Shifter was well aware there were many crewman who believe that “chess” was a euphemism for “sex,” so he put the suggestiveness they expected to hear in his voice.

“Of course, Jim,” accepted Spock warmly.

Shifter hurried back to his quarters to check on Jim and make sure that enough drug was in his bag to keep him out for the rest of the night. He knew how sensitive Vulcan ears were. He couldn’t afford to have Jim make a single sound.

By the time Spock entered Jim’s quarters, Shifter was ready for him. He pretended to fidget as he set up the board. It would make his next performance more believable to Spock.

“Your agitation has increased,” Spock observed as he sat down. “Do you still feel as if you’re being watched?”

Shifter laughed wryly. “I’m afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you. I’ve been a bit of a coward, actually.”

“Jim, you are one of the bravest humans I have ever met,” Spock objected. “What do you wish to tell me?”

“I wish…to tell you…that I – Spock, we’ve become quite close, haven’t we?”

“If you define “close” as spending more time in each other’s company than with anyone else, I agree with that assessment.”

Trust the Vulcan to use facts to both reveal and hide his feelings. But he could see he had Spock’s full attention; that a hopeful gleam had sparked in his eyes. This would be too easy. “We’ve become the equivalent of best friends; brothers; maybe even…lovers.”

Dead silence. Shifter forced himself to look down, to look somewhat uncomfortable in letting out that revelation.

Finally Spock spoke. “Jim, I did not realize you felt that way.”

“Yes,” Shifter said. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I could just never find the words. So I came up with other excuses for my behavior. It was most cowardly of me; I apologize.” Shifter looked up into the shining eyes of his pseudo friend, or rather, new lover. “I understand if you don’t reciprocate. You don’t have to say or do anything different. I just thought you should know the truth.”

“Jim,” said Spock, seemingly at a loss for words.

“No need, Mr. Spock. We can just continue on with the game,” Shifter said confidently, while putting on a hurt air he knew Spock wouldn’t be able to resist. The Vulcan _always_ put aside his logic when Jim was hurt.

“No,” Spock said predictably. “Jim, perhaps I have a confession to make of my own.”

“I’m listening,” Shifter said gently. While Spock admired Jim’s toughness, he _loved_ his gentleness, he’d observed. Not many people were so gentle with Spock; most assumed he had no feelings.

“It is difficult to say.” Spock paused. “Your feelings are not unreciprocated.” He stared at Shifter tensely, yet hopeful.

“You mean…you’re in love with me?”

“Yes,” admitted Spock, barely audible.

Shifter changed his face to pure joy. “ _Spock_ ,” he said, but didn’t say any more. Jim often didn’t when he was especially pleased with his First Officer. He stood up and walked over to him, leaned down, and put an arm around his shoulder. “What do we do now?” Shifter asked with a bright smile.

“As feelings of this nature are not my area of expertise, it is my wish that you take the lead,” Spock requested.

“Very well,” said Shifter. “I just don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“You will not,” Spock assured him.

“Then how about we seal our new deal with a kiss?” Shifter suggested. He had to admit, he was curious about the kissing thing. Humans put such stock by it.

Spock quirked a brow, pleased humor in his eyes. “As you wish.”

Shifter closed the distance between them. While the contact was nice, it wasn’t as exciting as his observations led him to believe. He faked noises and expressions of pleasure, which made the stiff Vulcan melt in his seat. This should _definitely_ keep his synapses fried for a while. Good thing Spock shielded himself; otherwise, his telepathy might have told him something was amiss.

Apparently Spock had too much respect for Jim to even take the smallest peek, because when Shifter pulled back, he saw only love, no suspicion, in the Vulcan’s eyes. Shifter wished he could find someone that would love him like that. But so far, he was the only one of his kind known in this galaxy. Those he had revealed himself to reacted in fear, and even hate. He was alone. Though this relationship was a farce, it was still nice; it did relieve some of his loneliness.

Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, for Spock inquired, “What is it, Jim?”

“Nothing. Just thinking how fast things can change,” Shifter said.

“Indeed,” said Spock, not elaborating further.

“Perhaps we should finish the game,” Shifter suggested. He knew Jim usually did not wait long to have intercourse with his partners, but he didn’t feel ready to take that step.

Spock agreed, and decimated Shifter. Though Shifter had tried to study chess as much as possible, he still wasn’t able to achieve skills equal to Jim’s. However, there was an easy explanation for that. “You’re very distracting, Mr. Spock,” Shifter laughed, smiling suggestively.

Spock’s eyes gleamed. “Perhaps we should give up on chess altogether.”

“Oh, no, mister,” said Shifter, knowing that Jim would never give up. “I’ll still find a way to beat you, somehow.”

“Ah. I had thought you might want to engage in other activities. Perhaps I was mistaken.” Spock quirked a brow playfully, his meaning clear.

Shifter sputtered a moment. As he said before, he didn’t want to have intercourse with Spock yet. The anticipation of it was too useful a distraction, anyway. But he couldn’t appear reluctant. “And here I thought I would have to slowly coax you into bed.”

“Once a Vulcan makes up his mind, there is no ‘coaxing’ necessary,” Spock promised him.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Mr. Spock,” Shifter said flirtatiously. He had his claws well embedded in Spock now. Maybe love had a disadvantage, after all; it made one all too easy to manipulate.

“Do you keep all your lovers waiting, Jim?” Spock asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Only the ones I really care about,” Shifter assured him. Luckily, this seemed to appease Spock. They talked ship’s business further.

“What did Dr. McCoy talk to you about?” Spock asked eventually.

“Just some security concerns, but nothing to worry about, Mr. Spock. Mr. Giotto has everything under control.”

Shortly after, Shifter saw Spock to the door. To his surprise, Spock slowly drew him into another kiss. It wasn’t a short, shy one, either; it was a long, passionate one, the unleashing of long-suppressed desire. Shifter returned it the best he could, unresisting of Spock’s grip.

“Goodnight, Jim,” Spock said hoarsely when they finally parted. Shifter just smiled in response.

As Shifter predicted, their new relationship emotionally compromised Spock enough that he wasn’t as sharp as he normally was. Unfortunately, the doctor proved to be more trouble than he predicted.

“Jim, Giotto turned up _nothing_!” the doctor said furiously. “I’m going to have to report this to Starfleet. There’s going to be a full inquiry. We might have to abandon our current mission and have someone else sent in our place. I don’t think either of us want that.”

“No,” Shifter agreed quickly. It looked like he would have to invent a culprit. Fortunately, it would be easy to do. “Don’t worry. I have a plan. We should leave more sedation drugs out, then clear Sickbay. Hopefully whoever stole the drugs will want more. We can check the security cameras later.”

“Why not keep an eye on them live?”

“We don’t want to make it too obvious. It could even be a member of security. Besides, this way, we can check them in all parts of the ship and find out where he’s stashing everything.”

McCoy reluctantly agreed to the plan. Shifter was uneasy. This meant he would have to cut his evening with Spock short. He’d have to come up with some sort of excuse the Vulcan would accept, or he would grow suspicious.

When they met for chess that night, Spock greeted him with a long kiss. Apparently the Vulcan was rather starved for affection, as Shifter himself was. He put on a veneer of playful exuberance for the beginning of the evening, then gradually faked exhaustion.

“Are you all right, Jim?” Spock asked finally.

Bingo. He was in the clear. He had convinced Spock something was wrong, without telling him first. Now Spock would believe him. “Just tired, that’s all. Seems I’ve had some sleepless nights lately.” He smiled suggestively.

“Perhaps I should let you rest,” Spock decided.

“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Shifter hinted.

“I do not want you to fall asleep during our first intercourse,” objected Spock. “Also, as Captain, you need to remain well rested and alert.”

“You have an interesting set of priorities, Mr. Spock,” Shifter teased.

“I believe they mirror yours,” countered Spock.

“Well. You caught me. You’re right. I should catch up on sleep for the next few days.”

“Then I bid you good night, Jim.” With one last, long kiss, Spock finally left.

Shifter picked a member of the crew that he knew slept like a rock. He stealthily wedged himself through a crack in the door, then shifted into the likeness of the sleeping crewman. He strode out the door and made his way to Sickbay, where he stole the drugs. He stuffed it into his clothing, then returned to the crewman’s quarters, where he deposited it. Then he snuck back out the way he came. He did not feel bad about this; once he returned home and released Jim, his name would be cleared. If anything, he was just giving the crewman a break from his duties.

The next morning, while the crewman was detained and questioned, Shifter listened to Spock’s update on his findings.

“Though we are now in scanning range of the specified cluster, I have found no planetary systems with that description,” Spock revealed. “However, I have detected a strange anomaly in his sector.” He pointed it out on the screen.

“Very well, Mr. Spock. Let’s investigate,” Shifter said, trying to hide his frustration. He could _feel_ the way home emanating from there. He instinctively _knew_ what the planet was like. It had to be there!

“We will find out what the Klingons are up to, Jim,” Spock assured him. Apparently the Vulcan had caught the frustration in his face.

“With you helping me, I’m sure I will,” Shifter agreed with a warm smile. Spock glowed under the implied praise.

They wouldn’t arrive at the anomaly for another twenty-four hours, so he still had another night to keep up with this charade. If the anomaly didn’t pan out, he was back to square one. He’d have to release Jim. There would be no longer be any point in keeping the Enterprise captive. It was risky enough as it was; he was lucky that Starfleet hadn’t given them a real mission yet. To top that off, he knew he couldn’t keep Jim sedated indefinitely. The drug would start having harmful effects. He didn’t want to harm him if he didn’t have to.

Still, he would enjoy this one, last night with the Vulcan. For a little while, he could pretend the relationship was real. Maybe he could even see what the sex thing was about. He wasn’t sure when he’d get another opportunity; finding his planet was not guaranteed. His life had hardly taught him to be optimistic. Now that he was faced with leaving, he wanted to make the most of his time here, before he was alone again. He wanted something to remember.

So when Spock entered Jim’s quarters, it was Shifter who pulled him into a kiss.  “Spock,” he said softly. “How about we forget about chess tonight?”

Spock swallowed, but his eyes glittered. “Yes,” he said simply, but eagerly.

Shifter stripped himself. He’d chosen to wear real clothes that night for that very purpose. Spock divested himself of his shirt and shoes, but appeared hesitant to go further. “It’s all right, Spock,” Shifter soothed. “It’s just you and me here.”

“My anatomy is…different,” Spock explained. “It may startle you.”

“Spock, I love how different you are. I always have,” Shifter insisted.

Without further delay, Spock took the rest of his clothes off. Shifter pretended to be intrigued, though in reality, he’d seen Spock naked already. He’d spied on everyone on the ship, for research purposes, for his role as Captain. “See, Spock. I don’t mind,” Shifter assured him.

Their sex was slow, gentle, passionate. Shifter had seen it before, and observed Jim jerking off, so he knew how to perform, knew what noises to make. Spock showed more of himself, revealed more emotion, than Shifter had even seen, even in private. _This is mine_ , he lied to himself. _He loves_ me.

When the deed was done, Shifter enjoyed the closeness a little longer. He knew he had to get the Vulcan out of there before the solid fell asleep. Otherwise, he’d have trouble giving Jim his next dose of drug without awaking him. Still, he could afford this moment. “Did that meet your expectations?” Shifter asked. He doubted Jim would be that insecure, but he had to know.

“Yes,” Spock assured him lovingly.

Shifter kissed him gently. “Much as I love having you here, I think you should return to your own quarters. I won’t be getting any sleep if you’re here, tempting me to go a second round. There’ll be plenty of time for cohabitating later.”

“As you wish,” said Spock, his face glowing. He quietly exited the room. Shifter turned into a puddle, resting up for tomorrow. His big day.

Before Shifter could even make it to the Bridge, the meddlesome doctor paged him _again._ Maybe he needed some sex too, Shifter mused. Might make him more cooperative. He headed back to Sickbay, wondering what in the world he could want now.

“It just isn’t sitting right with me, Jim,” McCoy said as he entered. “I barely slept last night, thinking about it. The crewman maintains that he’s innocent, that the whole thing was faked. I know the evidence is pretty damning, but things just aren’t adding up! His performance has been stellar. He has no psychological inclinations towards this kind of behavior. He’s passed the lie detector tests. He has no motives. There’s more to this, Jim!”

It seemed the doctor was picking up Spock’s slack. He’d underestimated him. “Our mission will likely be finished today,” Shifter told him. “After that, I’ll look into it. He’ll get a fair trial, I promise you.” That, at least, was the truth.

“All right,” McCoy grumbled.

“I need to get back to the Bridge. We should be arriving at the anomaly any moment,” Shifter explained.

McCoy waved him off grumpily.

Shifter eagerly rushed to the Bridge. He was _so_ close to home, where he would finally belong. He could _feel_ it. “Report, Mr. Spock.”

“We have dropped out of warp,” Spock informed him. “Scanning it now.”

“Approach it slowly,” Shifter told Sulu.

“Aye, Captain,” Sulu agreed.

Shifter observed the sight on the viewscreen with pleasure. Something about it resonated deep within him. Maybe the black emptiness inside would finally be filled.

“It appears to be a wormhole, Captain,” Spock reported, minutes later.

“Well, what are you waiting for, Mr. Sulu? Take us inside!” Shifter said excitedly, dropping out of character in his eagerness to get moving.

“Captain,” Spock broke in. “As I believe you must already be aware, that is inadvisable, especially without taking proper precautions.”

“But…but…” Shifter sputtered, frustrated. “The Klingon base might be on the other side!”

“I agree with that possibility. However, we should inform Starfleet before proceeding further.”

_That_ was something that had to be avoided with all costs. “Objection noted, Mr. Spock. Proceed, Mr. Sulu.”

“Captain, I believe we should discuss this further,” said Spock, rising from his seat.

“You are getting impertinent, Mr. Spock. Are you losing your ability to keep the professional and personal separate?” Shifter demanded, his ire rising. He tried to control himself; he might lose form if he did not. But he could _not_ let Mr. Spock stand in his way of getting home.

Now Spock’s face lost its softness. He walked up to Shifter, so that they were standing very close. “You are behaving atypically and irrationally,” Spock stated firmly. Sulu watched them, unsure and unwilling to obey the order until Spock was satisfied with it. Spock _never_ openly defied Jim like this; something really had to be wrong. And by his observation, he couldn’t help but agree.

“Just because things have changed between us, doesn’t give you the liberty of insubordination,” Shifter hissed at him. “You are relieved!”

Spock’s hand shot out and touched Shifter’s face. Shifter tried to lunge at Spock, tried to knock him out, but he was too late. Spock had him locked tight in a telepathic hold. He lost his form, but Spock still maintained contact. “Get Dr. McCoy, get security, search the ship!” Spock ordered hoarsely to anyone listening. “Immediately! Red alert!”

Dr. McCoy and a security team arrived in record time.

“I do not know how long I can subdue the creature,” Spock said, his voice cracking, his eyes closed tight. “You must quickly decide what to do with him, before he can shapeshift.”

McCoy scanned him and quickly analyzed the results. “He can survive in space, Spock. It might not be entirely pleasant for him, but he’ll be fine. I say we beam him out and warp away as quickly as possible.”

“Beam him into the wormhole,” Spock said, strained. “It’s what he wants.” They locked onto him. “On the count of three, I will break the meld and you must immediately beam him out. One, two, three…” Spock lifted his hands and watched as the puddle disappeared. He stared at the space blankly, feeling as lonely, hollow and despairing as the mind he’d just connected with. A tear slid down from each eye as Sulu engaged the warp drive.

“Hey,” said McCoy gently. “You all right?”

“There was some emotional transference,” Spock explained. It was true; the creature’s emotions had affected him, but that did not account for all that he was feeling. Jim didn’t love him. It wasn’t real. “Jim is locked in his own closet. The shapeshifter was responsible for the stolen supplies.” With the prolonged contact, he’d been able to see much of the shifter’s mind.

“I’ll take care of him, Spock. You go rest,” McCoy said. Spock left without a word.

 Sulu took the initiative, and sat in the Captain’s chair. “I think we should contact Starfleet and tell them what happened,” he told Uhura.

“Right away, sir,” she said with a friendly smile.

Jim awoke groggily in Sickbay. “Why do I feel like I have the mother of all hangovers?” he complained.

“You’ve spent the last few days drugged, Jim,” explained McCoy. “Locked in your own closet. What is the last thing you remember?”

“I was playing chess with Spock,” Jim said.

“You mean, actual chess?” McCoy snarked.

“What other kind of chess is there?” Jim wondered, oblivious. “Anyway. I said goodnight. It gets kind of foggy from there.”

“You must’ve gotten attacked after Spock left,” McCoy concluded.

“Attacked? By whom?”

“A shapeshifter. He took your place and falsified orders to take us to this wormhole. Fortunately Spock, at the last moment, figured out it wasn’t you.”

“He saved the day. Like he always does,” Jim mused fondly. “Where is he, anyway?” Spock usually hovered worse than McCoy when he was in Sickbay.

“Resting,” McCoy explained. “Seemed the meld drained him.”

Jim was too out of it to inquire further. “Can’t you stop this pounding in my head?”

“Nope,” said McCoy. “Drug has to drain from your system naturally. The dose was high as it was.”

Though Jim was in Sickbay for another day, Spock did not come to visit him. This he definitely thought was strange. The first thing he did when he got out was to stop by his quarters to see how he was doing.

Spock was slow to answer the door. “Captain,” he greeted formally, his face stone.

Jim was a little taken aback. This was the way Spock treated complete strangers, not him. “Are you all right?”

“I am functioning within normal parameters. I assume you wish a full report on the…creature. I have forwarded it to your inbox.”

“I wanted to chat with you,” Jim insisted.

“I must decline. I am in need of meditation.”

Jim stared at him, uneasy, but decided to let it go. “All right. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Spock closed the door without another word.

“Okay,” Jim breathed. He read the report, which was as cold and clinical as every other one Spock composed. Yet, it almost seemed _too_ stale. And, something wasn’t quite right. Though Spock detailed the regulations broken and the courses taken, he’d mostly described other people’s observations of the creature, not his own. And the chess game conversations were barely mentioned. They could have yielded valuable information about the creature. Maybe not, maybe the creature played his part well, but still. Spock was usually a bit more thorough.

Still, it was an acceptable report, so he forwarded it to Starfleet. He left Spock alone for the next couple days, thinking he just needed some space. Yet, when he tried to approach Spock for a chess game, days later, Spock declined, and showed no further interest in spending time with him.

“Spock, did he do something to you?” Jim finally asked. “I just want to help you.”

“Because of our relationship, I was easily manipulated,” Spock finally admitted. “I do not believe further  personal contact is wise.” That wasn’t the whole truth, but it was some of it.

“Spock, you couldn’t have known. No one knew. Not even the computer! Please, Spock, don’t just give up on our friendship like this!” Jim could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He hadn’t known, until now, just how much Spock had become to him. He couldn’t lose him. “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?”

“It is for precisely that reason I must give it up,” Spock told him. He’d been silly to believe that Jim felt that way. He’d only ever been with women. He should have seen the illogic immediately.

“Spock,” Jim said, devastated. Spock left the room without a word. Jim sank to the floor.

After awhile, he got up. He wasn’t used to losing. He was missing something, and he would find it. He decided to view the security footage for himself. He spent the next week pouring over every bit of it in his spare time. He noticed Spock’s increasingly happy, downright exuberant expressions, especially when exiting his quarters. Obviously, he’d been having a good time – an even better time than he normally had with Jim. He found himself somewhat jealous of the shifter’s ability to get those reactions from Spock, ones that he was now incapable of eliciting. Well, maybe, if he could just figure this out, he would.

At last, he reviewed those final moments on the Bridge, before Spock subdued the creature. He found the dialogue particularly intriguing. “’Personal and professional? Things have changed between us.’ What does that mean?” Jim racked his brain. The most obvious answer was that they had become romantically involved. But, Spock didn’t feel that way. Did he?

Yet, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Spock was certainly behaving like a heartbroken man. The shifter must have told him what he knew Spock wanted to hear, in a way that Spock would believe it. He’d been right that they’d been watched; who knew how long the shifter had to prepare his takeover. Then, when it was all over, Spock found out it hadn’t been real.

Or was it? Jim certainly loved him, but the romance aspect had never crossed his mind. Somehow, the shifter had seen what Jim had missed, all this time. Jim had only ever been with women. He’d briefly contemplated trying men, just for the adventure of it, but he hadn’t gone through with it. Women had just been too enticing, whenever the opportunity arose.

Yet, there was Spock. Spock, who was apparently in love with him, and had been horribly tricked. He wondered what had gone through that creature’s mind, that he would do something like that to Spock. If he’d been able, he’d have the creature locked up for life. Yet, by the sound of things, the shifter was out of their reach, now. All he had left was to somehow clean up the mess.

Jim wished he could approach Spock with more firm footing, with more surety that he was romantically interested too. The only thing he was sure of was his love. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave him alone when he was hurting like this.

With determination in his steps, he rang Spock’s door. Spock finally answered, minutes later, when Jim didn’t give up. “Spock, you need to let me in,” Jim told him.

Spock stepped aside, his face blank. Jim stepped in, then couldn’t hold back any longer. He surged forward and pulled Spock into a hug, holding him tightly. “Spock. Spock. I know, I figured it out,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry.” He kissed his cheek. That much he knew he felt comfortable with.

Spock did not speak, standing rigidly in Jim’s arms, but he didn’t pull away either, which Jim took as a good sign. “I love you, Spock. I don’t know about the sexual aspect, I just don’t know, but I do know I love you.”

“You watched the security footage,” Spock concluded finally.

“Yes,” Jim admitted. “I’m not letting go of us that easily.”

“You are not disturbed,” Spock observed in the same blank tone.

“No, of course not, Spock, how could I feel anything but flattered?” Jim reassured him. “I don’t know if I’m attracted to men, but for you, I’m willing to try.”

That finally set a spark of life in Spock that he hadn’t seen for days. “Yet, this is also a weakness. He manipulated me easily.”

“Spock, I’ll make a deal with you. You can let go of your shielding. Then you’ll always know it’s me,” Jim persuaded.

“You are certain?” Spock asked, his voice brightening.

“Yes.” Moments later, Jim could feel a new awareness of Spock, buzzing through their contact.

“Jim,” said Spock, lightly touching his cheek.

Jim smiled and closed the distance between them, giving him a short, experimental kiss. “Hey. I like the thought of being closer to you. We just might be able to make this work,” he said as he pulled back.

“I look forward to it,” Spock agreed quietly.

Jim relaxed. Things would work out. He just knew it. He wouldn’t let it be any other way.

 


End file.
